Howdy Neat Pete!
While I've done a lot of reading on the subject I've never done the OSL thing myself before, so take this with a grain of salt...
Generally speaking it seems like you are on the right track. When I look at it, it clearly reads like the spell he is casting is glowing. One suggestion would be to make the areas that are further away from the light source be a little dimmer than the things right next to the light source. His suitcase for example, (which is 18 inches away from the spell effect) should not be quite as light as the sleeve (which is only 6 inches away). Another thing that would help the illusion would be to darken your shadows on the back of the mini even more than what you already have. It's crazy how darkening your shadows can pop your highlights even more... Learning to "work in the negative space" was a huge epiphany for me.
It's a shame that the blues you glazed in are not showing up... I think the fact that you were working almost completely with black and white might have made things harder for you. It's so easy for white to go chalky, and when your value jump is so abrupt it's tough to get a smooth blend. Maybe if you had more color to your light source? Make it glow yellow or green and make your shadow areas blue or purple? That would help keep things from going chalky on you, and it would add even more interest to things by creating a cool/warm contrast as well! Even if you prefer to keep it monochrome, putting a median color of some sort between the black and white would help you with your mixes.
*shrug* Like I said before, I have never personally done the OSL thing, so it's not like I could do better, I'm just offering my silly thoughts. Props to you for experimenting! Hopefully I will take the plunge soon.
Laters,
Jen
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